“Onistagrawa” the iconic view of the Schoharie Valley where my parents came to live near us 21 years ago.
You never really know what it’s going to “feel” like when you find yourself without your parents in your life. Despite knowing it was coming, the reality of it has to be experienced. There’s no other way to prepare, even when you know it is moments away. At first, I was relieved that she could be free from a body and mind that she no longer had much control over. We all made our time with her as meaningful as we could. Not knowing when it would be the last. Each of us took advantage of the good days to look at physical photo albums of times long passed, from black and white to color, to recall those days, to laugh, to cry, to hug and hold on to life until it was time for her to transition from our sight. My only explanation of how it feels is “an adult orphan”.
My entire life has been a gift of a wonderful Family. A Great Grand Mother, Grand Parents on both sides, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Nieces, Nephews, Siblings, my husband’s family, a Son…As well as family friends who were considered Family too. As time goes on, we say good bye to them, some old and some young in the Circle of Life. That place in the Circle we were born into constantly changes and one day we find ourselves as Elders.
When we are young, our Earth Journey seems like it would be endless. Time was perceived as “slower”. Somehow we always wanted it to go faster, so we could be teens, grown ups, parents, grand parents and so on. Looking forward is vastly different than reflecting back.
I can only count myself exceedingly blessed to have been gifted an amazing foundation of long lived extended family, most who stayed together in long marriages and shared memorable events in every stage of life. At family gatherings for holidays, the births of the new, the passing of the elders and every accomplishment and disappointment along the journey. Someone was always there to comfort, console, rejoice or just be quiet and listen. I know it is not that way for everyone on their Earth Journey. The knowledge of that reality makes the gift of my Family even more special and sacred.
Wado sgi Mom! We will dance together again in the Sky World
You can visit her Tribute Wall here: https://www.sweetsfuneralhome.com/obituaries/Virginia-Ginger-C-Niskanen?obId=30691057
Geri..your words could not have been expressed better...i send my sincerest condolences to you and your family w the loss of your mom..i soo agree that it is something that one must experience to truly understand..and your description of orphan fits.........we are blessed with what we were blessed to have and may your mom rest in peace...thank you for sharing such a difficult time........many hugs... Renee